love, liss.

This week marks the beginning of my 6th month in Japan. I know how it looks to an outsider, reactions I've gotten span from "Oh it's a good opportunity" to "Oh my god, you're living the dream!" I didn't really understand why so many people (especially Malaysians) love Japan. But I'm slowly starting to see its appeal. It has such a rich and unique culture, so obviously different from what we're used to. Yet it seems mysterious, kind of like that sexy artist you can never quite figure out. At 25, I'm at that place in my life where I'm becoming increasingly aware of where I'm at physically, intellectually and emotionally. I want to say I've seen quite enough of life in the East and West, but I only know what I know. I think we all crave both comfort and adventure, and it's difficult to strike a balance - to be able to tiptoe out of your comfort zone. I think we all know what it's like to be comfortable, to be confident...

Tonight, I have two options: walk all the way home by myself for 40 minutes, or take the crowded train for 10 minutes. I chose the latter. A week after arriving in Tokyo, the discomfort finally kicks in. Before taking the train, I stopped by this food place. To be honest, I don't know what that is. I only know it serves Soba and Udon, and Tendon.. Tempura.. and they don't provide seats, so you'd stand and eat your delicious bowl of noodles. The last and only time I was there, I couldn't understand the old Japanese man, so he pointed at the Soba noodles, and I just nodded. It was delicious and cheap, so I decided to go there again. This time, I noticed the vending machine in the restaurant, hidden in a corner. Nothing was written in English. I picked the cheapest thing that I assumed wasn't going to turn out to be just a boiled egg. I brought my ticket to the same old Japanese man. He asked me something in Japanese, no mention of "soba" or "tendon...

This was my original plan: Apply for LA jobs during my last semester in Boston, get some interviews (maybe some Skype ones), secure a job I like with a fair pay by the time I step out of college, and off I ride, into the beautiful sunset of the wonderful Adultworld everyone else has been complaining about. Alas, life didn't go as I planned in my neat little brain. Before long, I realized that under normal circumstances, employers want you to be in the same area before they decide that you're serious about the job. Which is perfectly reasonable. They ask you to check in again when you're "here". Fair enough. You have a lot on your plate at this time. Final projects to wrap up. A lot of goodbyes to be said. You wonder what awaits you on the opposite coast. By now, you've heard a lot of horror stories about the industry, its competitiveness and the (perceived?) discrimination. "I didn't get the job because of my race." "I didn't get ...

It's been more than 2 months since my last post here. Honestly I'm surprised some people still come here to check for new updates. I had so much time on my hands in the fall semester, so being too busy isn't my excuse. I always enjoy reading articles that express unconventional or unpopular opinion. So when I write something here, I prefer offering readers something atypical. After all, your time is precious, you could be doing a million other things right now, but you are choosing to spend your time reading what I have to say, and that is such a HUGE honor. That being said , here I've come up with a list of lessons I learned in 2015, and my goals for 2016 - which is personal and may not contain many unconventional points.  This year, I learned. If I find that there is no one around to help me through difficult times, the least I could do is be there for myself, and be kind to myself. If I am upset, I would comfort me, bring me a cup of warm water, wipe my tears awa...

A  friend recently shared the photo of her degree on Facebook, which states that she graduated "summa cum laude".  Hah, I thought. That's not going to appear on my degree. My CGPA currently stands at 3.68. Something like that. I'm not even sure anymore. I have one semester to go. I'd be lucky to graduate with a "cum laude".  Another friend shared a picture of her friends with me, and added that "they're all smarter than me, their grades were better than mine." It's been decades since they graduated high school together.  The importance placed on grades is quite appalling to me. In lower secondary school, I remember being the only one among my friends who did not get straight As. When I saw that I got a B for the Mandarin language, and saw my friends rejoiced over their straight As, I had this weird mix of feelings. Happy for them, happy for myself too (I did work hard for it, though mandarin wasn't my strongest subject)...

Listening to Taylor Swift's 1989 album on Apple Music, "Out of the Woods".  3 months ago I listened to this song on the plane, on the way back. Crappy quality, but I enjoyed it. My world didn't come crashing down at the time.  It's only been 3 months, but so much has happened. It all happened so fast.  She said it's pure love, a feeling that wasn't shared by anyone else. This pure love.. it feels so good. But it also cuts slowly and deeply. 

I've been wanting to write a post for so long. I think I have like 5 or 6 posts sitting in my drafts. It's funny how there was a time in the past where I was so sure of everything, from who I am and what I want to do with my life to where I want to end up. I had a plan all laid out. The older I get, I realized, the less certain I am about everything. Is this what happens when you grow older? You realize you don't really know anything after all.  I've learned so much about life in 6 months, I feel like I've grown 6 years in 6 months. (Okay, I'm probably exaggerating.) I learned how to forgive while in pain. I could have brought harm, but I didn't, at least I hope I didn't. I tried to be kind, and in return, I got back kindness. I'm always lucky, wherever I go, and I'm really thankful. I always got back kindness. Hmm, maybe not always. If people aren't kind, they're probably just having a bad day, in which case, they need more kindness. {...