In defense of my average grades

A friend recently shared the photo of her degree on Facebook, which states that she graduated "summa cum laude". 

Hah, I thought. That's not going to appear on my degree. My CGPA currently stands at 3.68. Something like that. I'm not even sure anymore. I have one semester to go. I'd be lucky to graduate with a "cum laude". 

Another friend shared a picture of her friends with me, and added that "they're all smarter than me, their grades were better than mine." It's been decades since they graduated high school together. 

The importance placed on grades is quite appalling to me. In lower secondary school, I remember being the only one among my friends who did not get straight As. When I saw that I got a B for the Mandarin language, and saw my friends rejoiced over their straight As, I had this weird mix of feelings. Happy for them, happy for myself too (I did work hard for it, though mandarin wasn't my strongest subject), but I couldn't help but feel like I was less than them. 

The following year I transferred to another school, and entered the science stream. I still don't quite know why I chose it. Probably just because I wanted to prove to people I could do it, since you had to have fairly good grades to go into the science stream. Science wasn't, and probably still isn't, my forte. I wasn't very passionate about it, which made it a bit of a struggle. A 2-year struggle.

3 months after the exam, I watched as the top scorers were called onto the podium. We started with the highest number of As, which is 14, I think. Both recipients are two of my best friends. 14As. Which means 14 subjects. Incredible. 

Next, we had students who got 13As, 12, etc. By the time we got to 10As, the majority of the 2009 class was up on that podium. (This school was full of very smart people. To this day I'm still impressed.) 

In the end, my name wasn't called. 

Others who were standing with me weren't celebrated. We weren't the pride of our school. 

I got 7As. Out of 10 subjects I registered for. 

I didn't know how to feel. There could be the "what ifs" I guess, but I really tried. How could there be anymore "what ifs" if you've worked your butt off only to get in the (estimated) bottom 10% of the school? 

Meanwhile, a top scorer was crying over her near straight A+. Our As were divided into A+, A and A-. She had A+ for all subjects except one - which she got an A for. 

It bothers me that society puts so much emphasis on grades. Are grades the only thing we can celebrate? They'd say, no, we celebrate people who excel in sports too. Sure you do. These students bring home trophies. The name of your school gets mentioned in newspapers. 

So, what happens to students who are not the best at sports and aren't top of their class? They get cast aside. They feel average, like they can't do anything extraordinary with their lives. And this is happening during their most formative years. Directly or indirectly, they are told that there's nothing for them to celebrate. Nothing special about you kiddo, sorry. 

It's sad, when you see your hard work going to waste. It feels like that, at least. I've always been kind of average at everything, so I know. I did ballet, I was stuck at the same levels for a long time because I wasn't good enough, and believe me, I really really tried. I had violin lessons, I failed exams several times. I had piano lessons, and that was full of ups and downs too. But through all that, I learned to get comfortable with failures. I was, and still am, constantly falling and getting back up on my feet. 

Also, I have to add: teachers who only cared about exam results weren't helpful either. (Yes. I've had enough of those for a lifetime. This helped me later when I taught a bit. I really appreciated effort.)

So I did not get Distinctions and "As" all my life. I've experienced both extremes, and somewhere in the middle. But I picked up very important skills and qualities along the way. I also learned that hard work doesn't always result in success. Sometimes you're just not cut out for a particular field or job, and that's okay. But it's important to know your strengths and weaknesses. You can work on your weaknesses, but it's easier to make use of your strengths and sharpen them. (Referring to making a career choice here.)

Throughout my years in school, I've always enjoyed doing a bunch of side projects. Hah. Still love doing them now. And while those things don't get me all the fun stuff like medals and trophies and praise, and took time away from my studies, these were the activities that helped me understand myself better. I got to figure out if I enjoyed being a leader. It taught me to be a team player, a follower, a leader. All roles within an organization. As a leader I looked at my followers and learned from them. "This. Is the kind of follower I want to be." Or "This follower isn't very considerate, I have to learn from his mistake." The same goes for when I'm a follower or a partner. 

I learned to talk to people. To deal with people. I'm nowhere near where I want to get to yet, but when I look at where I am today, as well as my capabilities, I have all of these, and I am all I am today because of all my past experiences. These lessons I've accrued over those years are priceless, and the best part is they last a lifetime. 

And if I could trade these experiences, all the time I spent on other activities, for 14As and 5 minutes on that podium 6 years ago, I would never do it. 

I've said this over and over again, my dear brother, but trust me when I say, even if you don't get great results for your A-levels, I just know you'll succeed in your career. Because succeeding in your career takes so much more than just knowledge. On your way to your career success, you'll be needing a ton of courage, which you have, a strong work ethic, of course, and passion and drive. 

Yes I realize I'm no expert on career success hahah. So I don't know exactly what you need to succeed, (let's get back to this topic in 10 years - hopefully I'll be somewhere by then and will be a lot more qualified to talk about this) but I do know it takes a lot more than just grades. So don't worry too much. Things are going to turn out more than just fine for you. 

I am already extremely proud of you, brother, so don't worry about letting anyone down. You have my love and support, always. Always.